


What is dead can never die

by pink_kitty



Series: Harry Potter: parent's edition [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, F/M, Harry Potter finally having a family, Lily Evans Potter Lives, M/M, Severus is still pining, Slow Build, a lot of parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22320667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pink_kitty/pseuds/pink_kitty
Summary: What would have happened if Severus turned to the Potters with the prophecy instead of Dumbledore?Short answer: Lily livedLong answer: Harry grew up with his mum and his weird ass uncles in a small home and he grew up happy. But then, his letter to join Hogwarts arrived.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Harry Potter: parent's edition [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606576
Comments: 19
Kudos: 143





	1. The one where Lily is sad

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my thing! I will upload each Sunday ( Eastern European Time). Each book has 3 chapter from the point of view of different characters.
> 
> The slow burn is real, for some it may take the whole book series, for some it may be faster, have that in mind. 
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think and suggestions, dreams for the future and I will take them into consideration!
> 
> Thank you!

The one where Lily is sad

Lily

Mrs. Potter and her son Harry, of number 4 Godric’s Hollow, were not a normal family, thank you very much, not even by wizards’ standards. For starters, they were very famous and their house was always full of people, ranging from the Minister himself to muggles. The house was filled with so much magic that sometimes you could feel it in the air like an electric storm.

Lily was a med witch working at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. She was finishing her residency when our story begins. Finally, after years of hard work and raising a child semi-alone, she got to a place in her life when she was feeling accomplished.

The “semi-alone” part referred to Sirius and Remus. Remus did get his Qualified Teacher Status in the meantime, but they were pretty much always there. Sirius and Remus lived together in London. A few doors from each other, but technically together, as you could usually find them at Sirius’s place.

Severus Snape, Lily’s best friend that worked as a teacher at Hogwarts, was less present, but always there at important events.

Besides them the house occasionally sheltered a colorful bunch of people. The Tonks, Neville Longbottom and his grandmother, Narcissa Black and her son, various Hogwarts teachers and Peter Pettigrew. Sometimes even Lily’s relatives would show up to turn up their noses and sit primly on the sofa till Sirius chased them away.

Harry grew up pretty happy. He started showing signs of magic when he was only a few months old. At age one he got his first broom from Sirius and was banned to ever fly again on it till Hogwarts, at least according to Lily. Sirius had other ideas and often sneaked the boy out to the Borrow where the Weasley held weekly Quidditch matches.

Lily tried to shield him from the rest of the wizarding community as much as possible without denying him anything the other kids had. He was homeschooled till age 11, but that was mostly due to Remus being an actual qualified teacher. Every day he would go downstairs and floo to Remus and Sirius’s for his classes. Remus already had a few kids in his care. In Harry’s „class” there were Draco, Neville and Ron as he helped all the Weasley children. In the later years his classes got bigger and they were thinking of moving to a bigger location.

Lily would make her son breakfast and floo to work after he was gone. Harry usually got home before her, but only moments since she and Sirius would have a mirror conversation going around during the day. When she was running late, Harry had dinner at Sirius’s place and either slept in his room or flooed home once she got there.

Today was Harry’s birthday and Lily was up before dawn to get everything ready. Harry of course knew about the party, because little Ginny screamed it at him last week. But Lily was confident he would act surprised and enjoy it anyway.

She and Molly had spent the whole day yesterday cooking, while Remus and Sirius had taken Harry to the zoo. Harry loved the zoo, although during his first visit he did accidentally let a four meters long python out of its enclosure and then proceeded to chat with it for ten agonizing minutes till Sirius cleared the area of muggles and they got it back inside.

Harry was inconsolable for days afterwards, being sad for the snake. They had to sit Sirius down and explain why they couldn't break into the zoo. Or else he would have released all the animals to make his godson smile again. In the end, Lily sent an email with the complaints the snake had posing as an animal activist.

Then started Harry’s „snake phase” at they called it. He didn’t want a snake in a terrarium, but he did chat with any he found. He often held whole conferences with a variety of garden snakes and one memorable time with the escaped python.

He did it less as he got older, but at least once every few months he would be hissing away in the garden. On the plus side, they never had a rodent problem and Sirius believed they could have a guard snake system if only Harry tried a bit more.

Lily let all the food on the table and sorted the presents in a neat pile. She cast a Tempus, plenty of time to get Harry his birthday breakfast till the guests get here. She made him pancakes and was just adding sprinkles when he barged down the stairs.

„Morning, sleepyhead,” she smiled and hugged him. „Eleven, that is a big number.”

„I know, I can’t wait to get my Hogwart’s letter,” Harry’s eyes shined as they did every time he talked about the school. Lily blamed Sirius’s stories – mostly. And also Severus.

„All in due time, munchkin, pancakes now,” she smiles and put the plate in front of him.

When the food entered the picture Harry was gone while he threw it in his mouth at an alarming speed.

„Slow down, there is no rush,” Lily smiled fondly.

Harry grinned with the food in his mouth and for a moment Lily was taken aback by how much he looked like James. From his wild hair to his complexion, he was all James. Her chest felt tighter, not the burning loss of a few years ago, but a hollow echo that she suspected would always be there.

In October, it would be ten years since James passed away. The first months she couldn’t breathe through the pain; she and Sirius were like ghosts in the house. God bless Remus that took care of Harry till Lily could see anything else than her grief. The fact that he died a hero was no consolation; he died protecting her, triggering a spell that would make her untouchable while he dealt the final blow to Voldemort.

„Mom?” Harry’s voice made its way through the fog.

Lily shook her head of rattling thoughts. „Sorry, what?”

„I asked when the others will arrive,” Harry grinned at her.

„To the secret party you know nothing about?” She teases „ At noon.”

„Can I go in the garden when I am done?”

„Sure, honey. I will call you when they are close to arriving. Say hi to the snakes for me,” Lily smiled and gathered their plates.

Harry kissed her cheek and bounced off outside.

***

Remus and Sirius arrived first as expected. Sirius put a big bulging present on the pile, spoiling Harry as usual, while Remus put a smaller one, books by the looks of it.

„ Where’s the birthday boy that definitely has no idea?” Remus asked after saying hello.

„In the garden with his snakes as usual,” Lily said.

Sirius stepped into the kitchen, „I was wondering, will his Animagus form be a snake?”

„You are not to encourage my son to try some dangerous magic without proper help like you did!” Lily pointed an accusing finger at him.

„Well... we did it for a good cause,” Sirius said and nudged Remus with his shoulder.

„That doesn’t make it less dangerous!” Remus said long-suffering. „Especially paired with the present you just got him!”

Lily glares at Sirius. „What? It is his anyway!” Sirius defended.

„What did he do?” Lily turned to Remus that usually cracked faster.

„He decided to give his eleven year old godson the Invisibility Cloak,” Remus sighed.

„ Sirius Orion Black!” Lily’s voice was high enough to break glass.

„James would have loved him to have it!” Sirius defended.

„At some point, not when he just got into the school!” Lily screamed and just hoped Harry was deep enough in the garden not to hear it. He hated when people raised their voices.

„Actually, James would have given it to him at this point too... Let’s not forget James was quite a trickster too,” Remus muttered.

„Fair, but that doesn’t mean it is a good thing!” Lily kept glaring daggers at Sirius.

Sirius glared right back. „What trouble can he get himself into? He has too much of your goody two shoes genes.”

„I do not want to choose sides here, but Hogwarts is a safe place for him!” Remus chimed in.

„Safe? The Forbidden Forest is just across the road and do I have to remind you what is down there!?” Lily’s voice got to an alarming volume again.

„No werewolves anymore,” Sirius’s said in a small voice.

Lily looked murderous enough for Remus to step in.

„He is a good kid. We need to start trusting him at some point and have this whole debate if and only after he screws up,” he said glaring at each in turn.

„But what if something too bad happens in the mean time?” Lily asked, her voice dropping significantly.

„Then you have good old Sev there to watch over him,” Sirius said the name with a turn of his nose like he smelled something bad.

***

„Pads! Moony!” Harry barged in and hugged each in turn with a big smile on his face.

„You weed, I saw you yesterday and I swear you’ve grown,” Sirius smiled broadly and ruffled his already messy hair.

„You should not be here!” Lily said closing the door to the living room with a flick of her wand.

„Do you want to go to the garden with me, Pads? I have a new snake,” Harry jumped up and down excited.

„Sure, Bamby,” Sirius smiled and followed him out.

Lily turned to Remus.

„Do you have a back-up present for when I take Sirius’s?” She sighed long suffering.

„You will crush his heart, Lily,” Remus pleaded with his big eyes.

„But what if Harry gets hurt because of it?” She chewed her upper lip.

„Severus would know and he would never let anything bad happen to Harry. You need to let him have more freedom, see what he does with it and then decide if he uses it in a bad way or not.”

„I know... Why do they have to grow up?”

„So we can get more than a few hours of sleep at a time,” Remus deadpanned.

„What did you get him?” Lily asked just to save her fried nerves.

„ _Hogwarts: A History_ and some books I had from my first year. They may be outdated now, but can make for a fun read.”

„What is your plan now that the big kids are going away?”

„I still go on with Ginny, and I have a new student, Luna Lovegood, starting soon. I am also tutoring Dora for the Auror exams and Charlie for his Dragon taming one. So, I should get a decent flow of students in.” Remus smiled.

„You lost most of the class now that everyone is eleven,” Lily sighed. „I still don’t understand why you do not try for that position at Hogwarts. I swear Defense Against the Dark Arts is always open.”

„And cursed,” Remus joked. „ I told you, I prefer to stay home and have a smaller sample of students.”

„You mean you prefer to stay home with Sirius!” She teased.

„Not this discussion again.” Remus sighed. „Where are your guests? Did everyone leave all of a sudden?”

„They are conveniently and fashionably late,” Lily smiled.

„Sirius is not a big factor in my carrier making decisions,” Remus replied with a more edge to his tone than he intended judging by his widen eyes.

Luckily for Remus, the floo fired up saving him from this conversation.

„This is not over,” Lily whispered to Remus as she went to greet her guests.

There was a lot of rustling coming from the living room.

„We got `arry’s letter, figured we can save the owl a trip.” Hagrid grinned and handed Lily the letter.

„We should get him here, I want to film when he opens it,” Lily grinned.

„Muggle technology,” Severus Snape huffed „A pensive is way more accurate.”

„Maybe, but I want my memories intact and this is to keep me company all those moths he will be gone.”

„He will be perfectly safe, Lily,” Severus said primly.

„Where’s the boy?” Hagrid asked.

„In the garden again,” Lily smiled.

„I `ave the cake,” Hagrid said and put a squished looking box on the table.

Lily laughed. „Thank you so much, I can’t believe we forgot to bake the cake of all things!”

„Don’t worry `bout it. I’ll go to `arry, I always like when he talks to his snakes,” Hagrid smiled broadly and exited through the backdoor.

Severus left his presents in the pile that started looking more like a mountain by the minute.

The floo glowed again and half of the Weasley clan piled through. Molly was leading holding Ginny and Ron’s hands; the twins were behind her grinning widely.

„I am so sorry. Arthur got hold up at work and couldn’t make it and Charley still studies for his entrance exam.” Molly said while she was barely inside.

„And Percy is just a...” Fred started looking at Severus’s stern face, „a recluse.”

„Bill is still abroad then?” Remus asked.

„Yes, it is possible he will be away the whole year in Egypt.” Molly said marching her whole troop into the living room.

Ginny slipping out of her mother’s hand flocked to Remus and gave him a big hug.

„Mrs. Lily, I didn’t mean to tell Harry about the party.” She said hiding behind his leg.

„It’s alright, Ginny, he will be happy anyway.” Lily smiled wide.

After nodding to all the adults Ron ran outside.

Soon the Floo shined again releasing Neville and his grandma followed shortly by the Tonks and Narcissa Black and Draco.

By the time most of the guests arrived, Harry and his little gang were out of the garden. The adults were chatting in the kitchen while the kids were circling the presents mountain in the living room.

Lily spent most of the day making sure everyone had drinks and the kids weren’t hungry. She and Remus were working themselves between Sirius and Severus at regular intervals. Even after all these years, they still used every opportunity to take a stab at each other.

Andromeda and Narcissa were sitting primly on the sofa discussing the Hogwarts curriculum and Ted and Hagrid were enthusing the twins with stories about the creatures Ted worked with at the Ministry.

As always Lily’s sister and her family were absent. Lily tried not to let that bother her, but sometimes she wished Petunia would make an effort to catch at least an event a year. She did send Harry a present, a t-shirt that Lily would have to prod and beg Harry to wear just once.

Peter was absent as well, but he did let her know beforehand. Something about pressing work at the Ministry that needed his attention.

By the time the cake was cut and Harry opened his presents she was feeling exhausted. The sugar only gave the kids more energy, but at least tomorrow she was free from work. She promised Harry to take him to Diagon Alley.

Molly left first, herding her kids out by the Floo. Neville and his grandmother were next, although the boy protested loudly. In the end she was left only with Severus as Remus pushed a giggly Sirius in the floo.

„Do you need help washing up?” Severus asked while they were collecting plates from all over the house.

„I will just Scourgify everything tomorrow,” she yawned.

„What happened to the girl that wanted to do everything the Muggle way?” Severus teased.

„She got a kid,” Lily deadpanned. „Thank you for the cauldron, even if Harry was not as enthusiastic. I know how important it is to get a good one in the first year.”

„It was hard competing with Black’s gift,” Severus muttered.

„Well, thank Merlin it is not a race then. That kid has plenty of love to go around.”

„You raised a fine boy! I still hope he will get in Slytherin.”

„Blasphemy! Sirius will go green and that is really not his color,” Lily smiled.

„I should really get going...” Severus said, but kept fidgeting with stuff in the kitchen.

„Thank you so much for coming!”

„My pleasure. Do you still want to come to Hogwarts before the year starts?”

It was Lily’s turn to fidget now. „Just to... take a look around.”

„I keep telling you, he is perfectly safe at Hogwarts!”

„That is what Dumbledore said and he was the one with the back-up plan to let Harry be raised by Petunia if I died,” Lily snapped.

„Fair enough,” Severus sighed. „I will come and pick you up then.”

„Thank you again,” Lily grinned and hugged him briefly.

And again like with any type of physical contact, Severus melted into it and then immediately held back like a hedgehog.

„Good night,” he called and rushed out.

Lily thought about staying and cleaning everything up, but... No guests were supposed to arrive tomorrow and if she had to endure everyone staring in Diagon Ally she needed her eight hours.

***

Harry was up bright and early jumping down on her bed in screaming excitement. For a few seconds the prospect of him away at school for the long months seemed amazing, but Lily knew she would miss him something fierce.

„Mum! Mum!” The lump on her bed screamed.

„Breakfast first!” Lily muttered and left her blanket cocoon reluctantly.

„I want cereal!” Harry called and thundered down the stairs.

Lily sighed, but followed him. While Harry happily munched away she had some time to finish her morning ritual of shower and coffee and to cast the strongest Glamours she knew on herself and Harry. They may fall at some point, but she did her best.

Harry was buzzing with excitement. She was worried about accidental magic from all the emotion he radiated. She knew he wanted to go for a long while now, all his other friends went to Diagon at Christmas at least, even Draco and he was more sheltered than Harry. Lily couldn’t risk it. So many Death Eaters were never caught and she wouldn’t put Harry in danger again, not after the first time...

Lily took Harry’s hand and guided him through the Floo to the Leaky Cauldron. The bartender threw them a funny look, but with a lot of new families and even muggles shopping for school supplies for their children, Lily was sure that the look was not due to them being recognized.

She was surprised she managed to do this alone without any of the boys tagging along, but her happiness was short lived when a huge black dog jumped on Harry and licked his face.

„I promise I did try,” a voice interrupted behind them and Remus’s face was at least apologetic.

„At least he is less annoying like this,” Lily sighed.

Padfoot glared at her in a very non-dog way while Harry patted him.

„We can go home, I can drag him...” Remus began.

„It’s fine, I know keeping him away was only wishful thinking,” Lily sighed. „Bad dog, Pads, bad dog.”

Padfoot ignored her and wigged his tail as excited as Harry. They kept running on ahead, Harry with a sure hand in the dog’s fur.

„Where to first?” Remus asked and offered Lily his arm like the gentleman he was.

„I reckon Ollivander’s. Get the wand first,” Lily called.

Harry and Padfoot strode on ahead blissfully unrecognized even if Remus turned a few heads. They walked into Ollivander’s and the help stopped them from entering with Padfoot and Remus and Lily laughed till they were red in the face. In the end, only Harry and Lily were in the store when the owner appeared.

„I wondered when I'd be seeing you, Mr. Potter.” He said and Lily flinched. The store was empty, but she had to recast the charm afterwards anyway.

„Miss Evans, always a pleasure. How is your wand? 10¼" long, made of willow unicorn core,” Ollivander murmured.

Lily pulled out her wand for inspection and the Ollivander seemed pleased with its state.

„Now let’s see.” Ollivander took out a box from the stacks behind him and handed the wand to Harry.

Harry picked it up, swished, but nothing happened.

„Apparently not,” Ollivander picked a new one and handed it to Harry. He gave it a wave and a shelf exploded in the back of the store.

„Merlin! I am so sorry!” Lily started.

„I didn’t have a challenge like this in years.” Ollivander’s eyes lit up and he handed them more wands to try.

Each one caused a little explosion till Lily was scared for their safety.

„I wonder...” Ollivander gave Harry a dusty box and took out a wand.

Harry picked it up and sparks lit in the air.

„Curious, very curious,” The wandmaker muttered.

„Sorry, but what's curious?” Harry asked politely.

„I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It just so happens that the phoenix, whose tail feather resides in your wand, gave one other feather, just one. It is curious that you should be destined for this wand when its brother killed...”

„Absolutely not!” Lily’s tone scared even herself.

„The wand chooses the wizard, Miss Evans. It's not always clear why, but I think it is clear that we can expect great things from your son. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things...terrible, yes, but great.”

„I am not paying for that. We will sit here and try every wand you have till we find one that is not tainted!”

„But miss Evans...”

„It is Potter! And I admire the work you do, but I am not giving my kid that.” Lily’s tone was cold, but sure of herself. Harry’s survival instincts made him stiff momentarily under her hands.

Ollivander stared at her for a few long moments, but obliged and two hours later they got out with a 9 inch English Oak with a Phoenix feather core.

Remus and Sirius – now switched back – were waiting for them outside.

„I was five seconds away from storming in.” Sirius hugged Harry even if her son got embarrassed about public displays of affection nowadays.

„But we could also see you through the glass.” Remus deadpanned. „What happened?”

„He wanted to give Harry You-know-who’s brother wand or something” Lily huffed.

„He wanted what!?” Sirius bristled still holding a now squirming Harry.

„Mom didn’t let him give me the twin of the wand that killed dad.” Harry’s voice was muffled by Sirius’s chest.

Lily flinched and Sirius held him just a little bit tighter.

„But now I have a Phoenix Feather!” Harry called in the tense silence that settled.

„That’s great, puppy.” Sirius said and finally released him.

„How about we look in the pet store and then ice-cream?” Remus took Lily’s arm.

„Sounds great.” She smiled faintly.

Somewhere along the way Lily’s Glamour charm wore off. They got mobbed and had to take a refuge in the inn. By that time, Harry picked a pet, a snow owl he named Hedwig.

„I am sorry about ice-cream, baby.” She said watching her son coo at the bird cage.

„How about I sneak out and then meet you in Godric’s Hollow with a tub of it and we can have it safely behind wards?” Remus asked ruffling Harry’s hair.

Harry nodded and smiled broadly. Lily was scared he would stop being such a happy child as he grew up, but he was proving her wrong every day.

„Take the dog too, he needs a long walk.” She whispered conspiringly.

Padfoot growled playfully at her and jumped around Remus waging its tail.

Lily asked to use the Inn’s Floo. A young wizard behind the counter agreed with shaking hands and awe in his eyes. Harry didn’t notice, totally enraptured by the bird. Lily smiled politely and grinded her teeth. She never liked the attention, the mobbing, the fan mail. All she did was protecting her family. Killing the Dark Lord was a side effect and most of that was James.

She took a big calming breath and grabbed some powder in her hand.

Harry seemed unaffected by today’s events. He had to live all his life with strangers being too forward, insensible or weird. He knew about James and how he died before he got to even walk outside, because they were too worried he would find out on the street by a stranger yelling it at him. At least the law protected him against reporters and Lily was known to hex some that still got a bit daring.

They let themselves in the small cottage and the wards fizzled in around them. Lily was always sensible to magic and the wards they had placed on the house always felt like mist around her, shrouding them, keeping them safe.

„Are you hungry or just ice-cream today?” She asked Harry making her way to clear some of the mess in the kitchen.

„Ice-cream!” Harry replied from the living room.

„Why did I even ask?” She rolled her eyes fondly.

***

It took about twenty minutes for Remus and Sirius to appear. She was notified when they got into the town, but they had access to the house wards. They did not choose another secret keeper after last time and Lily hoped they never would again.

Sirius padded in as a dog, but switched back to human as soon as he was in the house. Remus strolled behind him carrying a grocery bag.

„Any problems getting back?” He asked getting into the kitchen.

She was clearing the table of plates from the party. „No. Did you?”

„No one bothers me when I am alone, or with my dog in this case.”

„He is a scarily convincing dog!” Lily remarked.

„He is part dog most of the time,” Remus laughed and helped her get the bowls.

Harry and Sirius made their way to the kitchen. Harry chanted ice cream all the way till he got a first bite and then he just speed ate it.

„Wasn’t Narcissa supposed to come today with you?” Sirius asked.

„She decided to owl order everything instead,” Lily said looking down.

Narcissa stopped going into the wizarding world. She held her head high and glared at everyone the few times she had to. She still did when she was alone. But she kept Draco firmly out of it. She could stand the sneers and the jokes and the insults, but not when they looked at her son like he was going to combust. Lily knew all this and tried to get them both out more, but they were choosing muggle places lately. Quiet parks, small coffee shops, book shops, places where neither of their names or faces meant anything to the passerbies.

Sirius clenched his fists and Lily knew she would have some chosen words if Harry had not been there.

„So, Harry, excited for Hogwarts?” Remus steered the conversation away.

„Yes! I am so worried about the sorting ceremony though,” Harry said between spoonfuls of ice-cream.

„No reason to be, all the houses have something important to teach you and you will be great in either one.”

„Even Slytherin?” Harry asked innocently.

Sirius proceeded to choke on... air, Lily assumed, since he just stirred his bowl and not ate anything.

„Yes, even Slytherin. Aunt Narcissa and Aunt Andromeda are Slytherins and so is Severus and we like them,” Lily piped in.

„For some reason,” Sirius muttered and Remus elbowed him hard.

„I am done. Can I go and play with my owl now?” Harry asked and put the bowl in the sink.

„Of course, be sure to feed her though,” Lily called after him.

„My godson, Slytherin, the audacity!” Sirius grumbled unhappy.

„He is turning more and more into an old man!” Remus complained to Lily.

„Next time he will scream about the lawn!” She whispered to Remus and they both smiled.

***

On the morning they had the train to Hogwarts, Lily and Harry were late. She did try to arrive on time, but nothing seemed to go how it should. They were supposed to meet everyone on the platform, but they ended up having to run through the station holding on the trolley.

Harry was a bit scared of going through the portal between 9 and 10, but he did it eventually. He ran straight in and Lily stepped right behind him. The wave of nostalgia that hit as soon as she got on the platform was so strong it was almost tangible.

The Weasleys were a ginger group in the middle getting everyone boarded. Lily walked to Remus and Sirius waiting on the side with Narcissa.

„You know it is perfectly normal to be nervous,” Sirius told Draco.

„ I am not uneasy.” Draco said.

„I know. I am only trying to say it’s okay if you were,” Sirius went on.

„I am worried!” Harry said joining them.

Draco looked up and glared at Harry. Lily could never understand their relationship. They had known each other all of their lives, but Draco always tried to keep away from the others. And the more he pulled away, the more Harry pushed and prodded him. Till Draco snapped, then he took some time away and when he got back the whole circle started again.

The train whistled and the platform bustled with children boarding and families hugging.

Narcissa hugged her son and held him a bit tight.

„Write to me straight after the ceremony tonight,” She instructed.

„And then me!” Sirius said and hugged his nephew that squirmed in his arms.

Lily hugged Harry so hard she feared she would break his bones.

„Everything is going to be fine!” She said more to herself than him.

„Of course it will!” Harry beam at her.

Remus took his turn hugging Harry and then they all took a shot at each kid and at the end of it Draco was faking annoyance and Harry was beaming pleased.

The kids then ran to the train and the adults remained on the platform. Lily made half a step forward, but Narcissa stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

„They will be fine, they have each other!” She said trying to convince herself as well as Lily.

„I asked all the students I have that are still in Hogwarts to keep an eye on them,” Remus said.

„If not we can always take them to Ivermorny. America is great this time of year,” Sirius supplied.

„They will love Hogwarts, as much as we did.” Remus assured him.

„I sure hope so!” Lily said watching the train slowly making its way out of the station.


	2. Sirius is lovesick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius confronts some demons he hoped he had outran, he has some revelations about himself and makes some resolutions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I am here with the second's chapter from Sirius's POV. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and sticking with me so far, as always comment bellow any suggestions, complains or praise it will help me as I make this in the long run!

Sirius is lovesick

Sirius promised himself he wouldn’t cry when Harry left for Hogwarts. His vision was just a bit misty...

Lily was fully sobbing like it was the end of the world and Narcissa had her stoic face on. Remus was holding Lily and looking so out of place Sirius would have laughed at him on any other occasion.

„He will be home for Christmas,” Remus said. “It is only a few months away.”

„Months!” Lily’s sobbing voice replied.

„Come on, Lily, he will be okay. He is brave and kind and smart, Hogwarts will love him”

Lily nodded into his chest.

It took thirty minutes and a big cup of coffee to calm Lily and Narcissa down. Even if Narcissa had the pureblood _emotions are beneath me_ mask, Sirius could feel her distress. He knew it was not easy to go back to an empty house and hear the echo of your own steps in the quiet.

„Do you want us to go with you?” Remus asked kindly.

Both women shook their heads.

„Floo us if anything happens, or....if you just want to chat, ok?” Remus said when they parted.

„Now you are the mother hen.” Sirius laughed at his friend’s worried face.

„You know that muggle psychologists have a word for this, the empty nest syndrome.” Remus replied still watching the mothers walk away.

„No, but I know you are talking about the strongest women we know.”

„Maybe Hogwarts starts too early. Why not at fourteen like normal highschool?” Remus’s voice sounded more offended than expected.

„We will write to the Ministry,” Sirius nodded.

Remus sighed exasperated. „Will you stop making fun?”

„Will you stop being ridiculous?” Sirius parroted him. „Come on, let’s go home”.

Remus took a big breath and all the fight left him.

„How about we watch something at my flat?” Sirius asked.

Remus nodded and let Sirius lead him towards the Floo.

***

Sirius had a small two bedrooms apartment in the muggle part of London. He stayed with the Potters during the war, but after James died... he couldn’t anymore. So he bought his own place.

Sirius liked his flat better then Remus’s – bigger, more aery and less concrete. Remus rented a place like a bunker and even without knowing much about muggle psychology Sirius could have pointed out why.

Remus felt like he should punish himself, like his house needed to be dark, sturdy and gloomy, to have small meals and not form connections with people that would miss him. Not more then he already had and he would have broken those too if he cared about less stubborn people.

After James’s funeral, Sirius was at a complete loss. He felt like he should do something, help Lily and Harry, but he had no energy to do it. Then Moony showed up. He helped them up, cared for them and Harry when Sirius and Lily were unable to and brought them slowly back to life.

When Lily was okay enough to be left alone, Sirius followed Remus to his dingy apartment. He wanted to stay for a few days till he got his own place, but then Remus fell ill, since he was neglecting himself while taking care of everyone. Moony was lucky he had werewolf genes. For a normal human that level of anemia would have been deadly, but he just bounced back after a few days.

Sirius stayed close, he couldn’t risk losing Remus too. Not so soon after James. So he stayed more than planned, then he bought a place close by and now Remus was a constant in his life, like he’d been since they were eleven.

Remus loved muggle movies. He hated TV shows and the news and the chatter, but he liked to settle in on the sofa for a movie. In days when he was overthinking and worrying for nothing, Sirius put a film on for him.

Sirius was the one that made the TV work even in a flat with so much magic around, but it was Remus who actually operated the damn thing. At this point, they had a ritual, where Sirius made the tea and some snack while Remus picked the movie.

They settled in for a film and knowing Remus it was either a think piece with a lot of awards or a sad dog movie. Honestly, Sirius stopped trying to guess what it would be and just enjoyed it. They took the sofa each at an end and Sirius as always hogged the throw pillows.

***

The next day they were invited at Lily’s to see the results of the sorting – either from the Prophet or Harry’s letter, undecided yet. All day Remus was at his own flat and Sirius got bored a bit so he tinkered with his latest creation, a set of muggle phones he wanted to enhance using the enchanted mirrors he had. He was positive he could make them work even in places with high magic concentration, such as Hogwarts.

He got lost in the work and Remus had to let himself in when he came to drag him to dinner. Even if he had a key for a few years now, Remus always knocked, well usually, not in times he felt too impatient to be polite, such as now.

They used Sirius’s Floo, since Remus never actually bothered to get his own connection. When they arrived, Lily and Narcissa were in a frenzy in the kitchen trying to release all of their nervous energy.

„Are we taking bets in what comes first, the letter or the Prophet?” Sirius grinned to lighten the atmosphere.

The two women glared at him, but he felt like the air got a bit more breathable now.

„Tough crowd tonight, Moony,” He sighed.

„I bet on Harry.” Remus deadpanned and Sirius grinned widely.

The long awaited owl scooped in, Sirius was sure that somehow the bird knew the importance of its own mission and took its sweet time with it. Turned out, Remus lost, because it was the Prophet.

Remus opened the newspaper ignoring the headlines, a break-in at Gringotts, Skitter’s page, something about what Harry’s pet and wand meant, Quidditch scores and finally the last page with all the sorted students.

„Okay let’s see, Black, Draco... Slytherin,” Remus said parroting the sorting hat.

Narcissa bit her lip as the only answer.

„Go straight to Harry and we can read the rest later,” Lily urged him on.

„Potter, Harry... Slytherin!?” Remus widened his eyes.

„What!?” Sirius jumped from his seat. „I blame Snivellus entirely!” He pointed a finger at Lily.

„It’s not Sev’s fault,” Lily defended her friend. „Besides, I can get Draco - long family of purebloods, good breeding, manners, values family above all else... But Harry?”

„Well... he does value family, he is resourceful and quite stubborn... Besides, the Potters are purebloods,” Remus reasoned.

„Well, I am not, so he is half anyway... What if the others are mean to him?”

„If anyone is being a jerk I would worry about them first and not Harry” Sirius reassured her.

„Ron Weasley is in Gryffindor,” Remus said glancing at the paper.

„They should give them a wing in the Tower at this point.” Sirius snickered.

„The dungeons are quite cold, aren’t they?” Lily asked Narcissa, the only Slytherin at the table.

„I packed Draco extra blankets; I calculated the chances are quite high for Slytherin. With the exception of Sirius, all of our family were in Slytherin.”

„Then you should have a place in the dungeon too,” Remus noted.

Narcissa shrugged. „We have a wing in the library.”

„Yep, the restricted dark arts section,” Sirius muttered.

„I should send Harry a care package.... and an extra blanket,” Lily thought out loud.

„I need time to process all of this...” Sirius’s voice was wobbly.

„He will do well in Slytherin, Severus will be fair to him and he can grow a lot in that environment, all that competition...” Remus was once again the voice of reason.

„I hope he at least plays for the House team,” Sirius still muttered unhappily.

„Then you will have to wear the green scarf.” Lily laughed at him.

Sirius’s eyes widened comically and he opened his mouth, but nothing came out, like he was incapable of processing the information. „Oh no!”

***

Sirius was looking out of his window onto the busy city. He was not under any way hunting for the owl with his godson’s first letter from school. If he hadn’t been hanging half out of the window, he would have not noticed the snow white owl Harry got a few days ago enter Remus’s floor and fly out towards Godric’s and he wouldn’t have barged into Remus’s flat. But he did stalk the bird, so not even ten minutes later he slammed open the door to Moony’s place.

„You stalked the owl, didn’t you?” Remus looked at him exasperated.

„You got a letter from Harry, didn’t you?” Sirius parroted him back.

„Pads, if he didn’t write to you yet, maybe he has a reason for it.” Remus as always was the unwanted voice of reason.

”A stupid reason which I will debunk as soon as I know what it is from your letter.”

„I will not betray Harry’s trust,” Remus said slowly as if talking to a kid.

„He is eleven, it’s not like he has many secrets,” Sirius pouted. „The kid tells me everything!” Sirius didn’t know what expression he had, but it must have been quite something, because Remus hesitated.

„Let me scan it first,” he compromised and Sirius nodded eagerly.

For a few agonizing minutes, Remus read the parchment as Sirius huffed by his side. At the end, Remus handed Sirius the letter with an amused smile on his face.

Sirius read avidly:

_Dear Moony,_

_How are you? Are Ginny and Luna enough to keep you entertained? The old gang sends their regards. Neville looked at the teachers here and said he will miss you terribly._

_The Great Hall is just like you and Pads told me, but the magic ceiling was still a shock to see. Nothing can prepare you for that. The muggleborn kids were fascinated by it, almost caused a pile up._

_The train ride was very long though. Draco read the whole way and he was not much company, thank Merlin for Ron and Neville. We also met a muggleborn witch, named Hermione, but she doesn’t seem very nice._

_I assume you’ve seen the sorting by now... I got into Slytherin! I know you and mum don’t care, but Padfoot will... I am sorry if I disappointed him... but I asked the hat to put me there. It was debating where and said I could fit in all, but I asked for Slytherin._

_I mean, Draco was sorted ahead of me and he got Slytherin before the damn thing even reached his head and I saw the other kids snickering and laughing and I couldn’t just leave him alone out there... I know he says he doesn’t need anyone’s help and all, but I do not want him to be bullied._

_Love,_

_Harry._

Sirius finished the letter once and then read it again.

„That’s so stupid! To think you could ever do anything that would make me stop loving you... You brat!” The sense of relief that took hold of him was almost palpable.

He put the letter on the table and turned away towards the door.

„What are you doing?” Remus’s voice came clear from behind him.

„I am going to reassure my godson!” He called and stormed out.

Sirius’s reply was two pages worth of parchment. In the first one he expressed how much he loved Harry and how proud of him he was. The second one described two secret passageways to get to the dungeons faster from the kitchen and Great Hall.

***

One morning, Sirius was woken up by a beak furiously pecking the window. He swore and opened it. The Black family’s owl, big as a vulture, landed on the kitchen table. He hadn’t gotten a letter from home in decades, the last announced the death of his younger brother.

He took the parchment from the sharp claws. It had the Black family seal. The only relative alive who could use it was his grandfather. Everyone else was either dead, in Azkaban or would never use the seal in their life.

For a few moments he just stared at it. He didn’t remember a time when opening a letter with this seal had brought him joy. But he knew he couldn’t let it fester, like a wound. He ripped the seal off like a band aid. The letter inside was not very thick.

_The last will and Testament of Arcturus Black III_

The paper felt like it was burning his hands, but he skimmed it.

_To Sirius Orion Black, I leave the ancestral Black Home from Grimmauld Place, I restore the title of Black Heir and all the contents in the Black family vault, a quarter of which will be gifted to Draco Lucius Black at his coming of age, along with the title of heir if no other offsprings are born by that time._

Sirius kept staring at the letter unblinking. He didn’t know how long he stayed that way for. His wards flared up announcing guests, and soon after Narcissa and Andromeda flooed in.

Narcissa looked at the open letter still on the table. „So you got one too.”

„He was quite young for a wizard though,” Andromeda said and started the kettle for some tea.

„He buried all of his kids and his youngest nephew,” Sirius said in a small voice.

„Well, Blacks are not known for longevity,” Narcissa sighed talking a seat at the table.

„I haven’t read it all,” Sirius confessed.

Andromeda poured all of them a cup of tea. „Well, the first page is just talking about how great the house is and how rich then about what he actually left us. We are lucky Azkaban prisoners can’t inherit, he always had a soft spot for Bella.”

Sirius curled his hands around the mug like a lifeline. „I thought he would leave everything to one of you.”

„He did leave Draco a generous sum and the title if it gets to that,” Narcissa said.

„What about you, Andi?” Sirius asked.

„Nothing, not like I need it. I left all that behind when I left.”

„I thought I did too,” Sirius’s voice was small.

„You do not have to go there if you do not want to!” Andromeda put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

„Oh, I am going!” Sirius rose up.” We all are! The white sheep of the Blacks, our time has come.”

Andromeda laughed and even Narcissa smiled.

„My lovely cousins, will you accompany me to the ancestral home of our pureblood bigot family?” He extended his hand.

„It will be my pleasure,” Andromeda smiled warmly. Narcissa nodded.

***

They apparated close to 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius hadn’t been here since he was sixteen, Andromeda – from her Hogwarts Years. Only Narcissa had been to Regulus’s funeral in the last years.

The house was squished between two perpetually empty buildings. The Blacks bought them and then left unoccupied to hide their precious home. At the door of solid dark oak stood Kreacher, the last house elf.

He bowed before the small family and handed Sirius the master wand of the house. He didn’t say anything and scurried away muttering about „disowned” and „wayward sons”.

Andromeda sighed. „Charming as always.”

They stepped inside the parlor. The house felt more dusty and gloomy than usual. Not like it was ever filled with light or laughter in Sirius’s memories, but after being away for so long it was a bit overwhelming.

„Give it a go, Sirius. Vanish those dusty ghastly curtains, will you?” Andromeda asked.

He swished the wand, but the curtains gave a groan and released more dust into the air.

Narcissa opened all the windows with a flick of her wand and even the cold air was more welcoming than the stiff atmosphere inside.

They walked onwards to the main staircase. When they got to the fireplace they were greeted by a screeching voice yelling „traitors”. Sirius stopped instantly; he recognized the voice, of course. But she had been dead for years.

„Aunt Walburga made a portrait, with the Dorian Grey technique,” Narcissa supplied and stepped into the foyer. „Hello, aunt Walburga!”

The portrait’s voice changed. „Oh, Cissy dear, how much have you grown!.. Traitors!” She shrieked suddenly seeing Andromeda and Sirius.

„Silencio! That is enough of you!” Andromeda said with a biting tone.

Narcissa took a step back „First item on the to do list is move that. It probably has a permanent sticking charm to it and you can’t destroy it the conventional ways... Can you try and move it in the basement for now?”

Sirius just nodded, still rendered mute, and flicked his master wand. It worked for him this time and the painting was whisked away.

„Welcome home!” Sirius said dryly.

The main staircase was decorated with stuffed Elf Heads. An ancient Black tradition that Sirius loathed, they scared him so much as a child. This will be the second item on the list; he won’t let Harry in before they are all gone.

The family visited the other rooms, mostly opening windows and letting the sun in. The house was unchanged. Even his bedroom was exactly like the day he left it. Time seemingly froze here, and stepping back into the rooms, Sirius felt small again. All those memories rushed back and he started wondering if he even wanted the house in the first place.

The tour got even more depressing when they saw the tapestry. Narcissa and Draco were the only ones still in it. They didn’t even include Nymphadora.

„Tell me the good wine is still there!” Andromeda said in the silence that followed the end of the tour.

„Kreacher!” Narcissa called and the elf popped up grumpy. „A bottle of red wine and three glasses, to the library!”

The house elf nodded and disappeared.

„A screaming portrait of my bigot mother, an unhappy elf and the best collection of dark arts artefacts in the world... Lucky you, Sirius,” He grumbled.

„Well, with a few changes, I think you can make a good home here!” Narcissa said practical.

„Do I even want to?” Sirius asked.

„I think it will be therapeutic to remove every trace of them and reclaim your legacy,” Andromeda said.

They arrived into the library. An open bottle of wine awaited them by the lit fire. There were more chairs than usual. Sirius assumed Kreacher helped with that.

„It is entirely your decision, Sirius. No one has any claim to the house except you!” Narcissa called.

„What if I have a kid someday and they want to know their legacy?” Sirius asked.

„Then you take them to meet their wonderful aunts. Your family is not in this house and it hasn’t been in a long time,” Andromeda said.

„Take out all the Black, it is a good house. And now you would want a bigger home anyway.” Narcissa said.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. „What do you mean by „now”?”

Andromeda poured them all wine and handed each a glass.

„Well, you are not expected to live alone forever. And now with Harry at Hogwarts you need to focus on yourself,” Narcissa continued.

He sighed „Not this again.”

„You can’t be alone, Sirius. It’s not healthy.”

„I am not alone. If I decide to move here, I actually want to ask Remus to join me.”

The sisters exchanged a look, but did not comment further.

„Do you think he would like to come?” Andromeda asked after a long breath of silence.

„Imagine how dear mother would react to that,” Sirius laughed.

Andromeda laughed as well and even Narcissa smiled.

„Well, to us.” Andromeda raised her glass. “The white sheep.”

They toasted and drank in silence each stuck in their head.

„I am such a disgrace – not only I inherited the house while disowned, my future housemate is a halfblood werewolf,” Sirius said.

The adults all knew about Remus’s condition. He told them himself before they brought their children to him. So far, no one cared.

„I married a muggleborn,” Andromeda clunked her glass to Sirius’s.

„I am divorced,” Narcissa smiled widely.

Andromeda raised her glass. „I will drink to that!”

„I am gay! And the heir!” Sirius went on.

„I broke Draco’s betrothal with the Greengrasse’s that was set before their births.”

„I let my daughter train for the Aurors, in the most dangerous division!”

Sirius laughed merrily. „We are such fuck-ups, huh?”

His cousins joined him. All of a sudden the house did not seem so overbearing anymore.

***

He returned to his flat in the evening. The house seemed too empty after today, so Sirius made his way to Remus’s.

He let himself in. In the living room, Remus had Dora and Charlie Weasley poring over application essays, by the sound of it.

„Evening,” he called walking in.

Dora’s face turned pink and she hugged him happily. Charlie shook his hand.

„Is it this late?” Remus said instead of greeting. „I am so sorry, I didn’t intend to keep you till dinner time.”

„It’s okay, mister Lupin, I prefer that to having a bad essay,” Charlie said.

„You are very clever, dedicated and the best Care of Magical Creatures student since Newt Scamander,” Remus called his voice going soft.

„Thank you!” The young man beamed.

Remus gathered his papers. „Just stay focused and don’t panic and you both will do fine!”

„Thanks, Remus!” Dora hugged him briefly.

They both rose from the couch at the same time, Sirius felt like there was less chatter and laughter in the air than usual, but didn’t comment on it.

Dora and Charlie walked out stiff and less close together. They politely said good-bye and even Dora forgot the usual „Uncle” she would slip in to make Sirius feel old.

„Did something happen?” Sirius asked taking the now free couch.

„Dora is not happy Charlie picked Romania over Ireland, his initial plan. Romania has more fierce dragons and is also a while away,” Remus said.

„Oh, I hope they work it out, it’s weird not seeing Dora chatty and jumping around.”

„Well, falling in love with your best friend usually sucks.” Remus said grim.

Sirius jumped from the couch. „Falling in love!? Dora!? But she is only... oh, 18 now... I guess it is the time for that...”

„You are so oblivious some time,” Remus sighed.

„Well, you are the one pairing people all the time,” Sirius called. „How can I know it is real and not one of your schemes?”

„I do not do that,” Remus defended himself although he was smiling.

Sirius pointed an accusing finger at him. „I know you separate people you think will go together in groups!”

„I resent that implication,” Remus glared. „Tea?” He asked rising from the couch.

„Yes, please. By the way, you won’t guess what letter I got today?”

„Did Harry write back already?”

„Not yet, but I got the Black family owl with...” Sirius went on telling Remus about his day.

Two cups of tea later the story was done.

„And do you actually plan on moving in that big house alone?” Remus asked.

„Not really,” Sirius frowned. “I was actually planning on asking you to... move in with me?”

For a few moments Remus didn’t answer and just stared at him in disbelief.

„I mean, I got the flat to be near you and your self-destructive tendencies... And you always complain about how much the rent is... And that you need more space.”

Remus still blinked at him owlishly.

„We already shared a room at Hogwarts and I know we can share the same space... The house is huge and we can even get chambers at different parts of it... And I threw all the silverware away and...”

„Ok,” Remus whispered in the middle of this tirade.

„Thank you!” Sirius’s face lighted up.

„Of course!” Remus smiled.

„We can move by the next month! I know the house needs some redecorating, but I am confident we both can work it out!” Sirius beamed proud.

***

Harry’s letter came a while later. Sirius was working on removing the sticking charms on the House Elves heads in Grimmauld Place with a very tired Lily. She had only a few hours of sleep after a night shift. Usually he wouldn’t have bothered her, but she was the best at Charms among all of them.

Hedwig landed in the kitchen and made enough of a ruckus to get their attention.

„He wrote me first!” Sirius beamed.

Lily rolled her pretty eyes at him and took a seat in the kitchen. The house had a formal dining hall, but they usually avoided it. To Kreacher’s ire, they brought a solid wooden table and put it in the kitchen. Sirius loved it.

„Dear Padfoot,” Sirius read. „Clearly I am the favorite one,” he added.

Harry’s letter read as followed:

_Dear Padfoot,_

_Thank you for your last letter, I am glad you are happy for me. Houses should not matter anyway, they only divide people. I will wear a Gryffindor scarf the whole next week. Ron said we can swap._

_Miss McGonagall seemed very relieved I was not in her House, but I like her class, Transfigurations are cool. Moony said that it was your best subject in school, was it?_

_We had Potions as well, but Severus is very different in class. Draco is very good at Potions and he said Severus ignores me as to not seem to have favorites. I would think that they are just kind words, but this is Draco so no chance there, he even may be right._

_I followed your suggestion and helped Hermione fit in. People were very mean to her, but I do not understand why. She can be annoying, but once you get to know her she is really clever._

_I left the best news for last! We had our first flying lesson yesterday. Me and Draco were flying way before others did, because of all the lessons you gave us. But then Neville tried to get to us and he dropped his Rememberall. I dove to get it before it break to the ground. McGonagall saw me and said it was pretty impressive for a first year. And said that I could make it on the team!!_

_I hope Severus lets me join and is not influenced by mum since she is scared it is too dangerous. Can you talk to her for me?_

_Love,_

_Harry_

„My godson, the youngest seeker in hundreds of years!” Sirius’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

„I thought you need to be…” Lily mutters. „I thought I had more time to...”

Sirius turned to her mortified. „You can’t just not let him play!”

„It’s dangerous! I remember the wounds you lot had after Quidditch!”

„I only remember the fun I had doing it!”

„It’s up to Severus anyway...”

„And he will do whatever you want because he is the same puppy he was in school.”

Lily gave him a warning glare. „Black!”

„Let him have this! It’s nothing Pomfrey can’t fix! She mended worse for us!” Sirius pleaded.

„If he gets hurt...”

„You can’t put him under a glass ball, Lily!”

„I know...” She sighed defeated.

„I love him too and want the best for him!” Sirius said in a much calmer voice.

„I know!” Lily said. „Seeker, huh? That is at least out of the fray, right?”

„Sure, Rose,” Sirius said smiling.

***

Sirius took Remus shopping in Diagon Ally. They needed to replace some furniture Sirius found unsuitable and to choose new wallpapers for most of the house.

‚I still don’t understand why I need to be here!” Remus complained.

„Because it’s your house too.” Sirius defended.

„You are basically my landlord!”

„I am not taking money for rent!” Sirius pointed out. „Only manual labor from you, Mooney!”

„Slave driver,” Remus muttered with a big smile on his face.

„It’s not my fault you are so handy. I had no idea so many Boggarts lived in the house!”

Remus laughed. „I’ve never seen so many moons in my life.”

They were walking down the main road towards Poppy’s Hardstore that was on one of the side streets. Remus was talking about one of his students, when something Sirius’s attention.

A broom glistening from the store front of Quality Quidditch Supplies. The new Nimbus 2000.

Remus shook Sirius. „Are you even listening?”

„I was, something about Luna’s parents,” Sirius reassured him. “Moony, check this!”

„A broom?”

„Not just a broom! A Nimbus 2000 broom!”

„A good broom?” Remus said unimpressed.

„I can now, since Harry joined the team!” Sirius muttered to himself.

„Sirius! Lily won’t like it!”

„Deny me my present to my godson?”

„Sirius!” Remus had his warning tone.

„I am getting it! Harry will have the best gear!”

Sirius ran inside the shop and Remus sighed after a completely lost cause.

***

It was Halloween... Sirius hated Halloween, they all did. Harry never dressed up for it, he went to his father’s gravestone instead.

This year it was only Remus, Sirius and Lily. They hadn’t seen Peter as much lately, but he would always show up on this day, except this year. He said he couldn’t get a free day in the middle of the week. Lily had a day off, she always reserved one for Halloween and since it was Thursday and she was a prodigy they let her have Friday as well.

James was buried in Godric’s Hollow. Remus and Sirius flooed to Lily’s at around mid-day. The house was spotless, no toys or books scattered anywhere. Lily herself was in the kitchen with the wireless on although she was not listening.

Sirius knew the feeling – turn some noise on, anything to fill the dreadful silence.

He took a seat beside her. Remus fetched a vase and put the flowers in water. They got lilies, James’s favorite. They did not know if it actually was or that was because of Lily, but ever since the fourth year he claimed it was his favorite.

They moved around each other like ghosts. Each in their own head, each seeing a different James. The goofy kid, the bold teenager, the doting lover, the loyal best friend, the fierce fighter.... the flame that went out too soon.

Sometimes when he closed his eyes, Sirius saw a green spell and heard Voldemort’s voice. Sometimes in his dreams, sometimes not.

They got to the empty cemetery before the sun set. James’s grave had a lot of flowers and lit candles on it. Sometimes strange wizards and witches visited the grave and left them. Sirius knew Lily visited once a week too. He wondered if it would ever get easier and then berated himself for thinking that.

They left the flowers and made their way home. They had a quiet dinner with Lily. Everything would return to normal tomorrow, but this day was for mourning, had been for ten years.

They hugged Lily and were ready to go home when the Floo lit up with an urgent message.

„I better pick it up, it may be from work!” She said.

In the flames, Severus Snape’s face looked worried and a bit fearful.

Lily jumped. „What happened to Harry?”

„He is safe now! He is fine.” He reassured her.

„Now!?” Lily’s voice was high enough to break glass.

„There was an incident with a troll in the castle,” Severus explained.

„How can a troll get in?” Remus asked.

„We think someone let it in, my best guess is to cause a distraction.” Severus said in this level tone.

„Sod that, where was Harry?’ Lily asked.

„In the dungeon,” Severus gulped. „He... we evacuated all the houses, but he went back inside...”

„Why?’

„Someone... Draco Black was locked in the bathroom.”

Now it was Sirius’s turn to raise his voice „Locked!?”

„He doesn’t want to tell us who did it. When everyone was led out, Harry sneaked out and went to get him out... The troll found them when they were making their way back.”

„Found them!?”

„They are both ok, Lily. I noticed them gone and went to look for them. It wasn’t needed since they got themselves out of the situation. And knocked the troll out in the process.”

„Was anyone hurt?”

„No, everyone is fine. We even released the troll back in the mountains.”

„But who let it in?’ Sirius pressed.

„We do not know.”

„Who do you think it is?’ Lily asked staring straight into Snape’s eyes.

„Quirrell. But I have no proof.”

„Quirrell!? Wasn’t he below us at Hogwarts?” Sirius asked.

„One year, Ravenclaw,” Remus supplied.

„He is teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, right?” Lily asked.

„Yes. He took a year-long sabbatical last year and now he returned, but something is different about him... I tried to find out what, but I have nothing.”

„Do you think he is after Harry?” Lily asked.

„That or the Philosopher’s Stone that is inside Hogwarts this year,” Remus said.

Three pair of eyes turned to him surprised.

„It makes sense that the stone is there. Flamel gave it to Dumbledore to be destroyed. It is logical Dumbledore would hide it in the safest place he knows.”

„Is it bad that I hope he is just a madman that wants eternal youth?” Lily asked.

„No. Either way, I will keep my eyes on him.” Severus reassured her.

Lily smiled warmly at him. „Thank you!”

„And what was that about my nephew being bullied?” Sirius asked.

„He doesn’t want to give any names, but he keeps getting locked outside the castle, the dungeon, inside lockers and bathrooms. Harry is staying by his side constantly and now they bicker all the time...”

„Why? Because of the crap with his father? Why would Slytherins care?”

„May I remind you, Slytherins fought in the war too?” Severus’s tone turned sharp.

„I mean, they care about purity and wits, the kid have both on his side,” Sirius backtracked.

„But he is also smarter than them and doesn’t mingle with anyone, except Harry. He makes it very hard for himself as well.”

„Smugness is not a sin for Slytherins.” Sirius muttered.

„What measures has been taken?” Lily asked instead drowning Sirius’s words.

Severus sighed and looks remorseful. „Nothing till he tells us the names. There is nothing I can do in the meantime!”

„Thank you for taking care of the kids!” Lily said with a soft smile on her face.

„My pleasure. Lily, Remus, Black.” He nodded at each and the Firecall ended.

„Well, fuck,” Sirius summed it up.

***

It was only a few days later when Sirius got a letter from Harry.

_Dear Padfoot_

_I hope the house is treating you and Remus well. I can’t wait to see it for Christmas._

_My classes are going good. I am lucky I got to pick my partner in Potions and got Draco, I am not afraid of failing it anymore._

_Remus advised me to start tutoring with Hermione already, but we are only a few weeks in, I will worry when it gets closer to the exams._

_I really like Defense against the Dark Arts, Quirrell is a good teacher although his stuttering makes it hard for us to understand him sometimes._

_By the way, mum said she is coming to the game next week, we play Gryffindor. You and Remus are coming too, right?_

_I was meaning to ask... How do you take care of a person that doesn’t want your help? I know mum said to respect this person wishes, but I know ~~he~~_ they _are bullied and would benefit from being my friend and let me help them... Can you please help me?_

_Love,_

_Harry_

Sirius finished the letter and stared into the fire. He was in the library, his current favorite room since they got to finish this one before the rest.

Most of the house still had a distinct Black aura about it, but he would strip most the wallpapers and he would go as far to change all the flooring to get rid of it. Remus accommodated slowly.... He kept mostly to his room and the library where he also kept his tutoring sessions.

His first transformation in the house was hard, they apparated in a secluded forest and transformed, but the next day Remus woke up screaming because for a second he forgot where he was. Sirius kept him company till he fell asleep... and most of the day to make sure he would not get spooked again.

„ _How do you take care of a person that doesn’t want your help?”_ Harry’s question rang in his mind.

You follow him around till you know his secret, you find a way to make it easy even if it is dangerous, you keep a leaf in your mouth for a whole month and hope he doesn’t notice and try to stop you, you learn how to navigate a whole different body just to keep him safe. You join a war to make sure everyone you love survive and pick up the broken pieces when they didn’t...

You bring them tea before they ask and refill it all throughout the day because they were too absorbed in a book to notice. You bully them into eating and keep them close and never give up on them because you can’t stand the thought of them not being there...

Because you were both broken and you mended together by picking the pieces of yourselves till you did not know how to be alone anymore, because not all the pieces that made you were yours anymore...

You got a damn house and made changes to fit him before you even asked him to move in, because the thought he wouldn’t was unbearable...

Sirius’s eyes were the size of dinner plates and even if his body was still he could feel it buzzing „Damn it, Black, how could we miss that!?”

„Miss what?” Remus asked and he stepped in with a tea tray and a book.

He put a cup down by Sirius’s elbow and looked on worried. „H... Harry is asking if we will go to his first game.” He mumbled.

Remus beamed. „Of course, we will!”

***

Sirius, Remus and Lily took a port-key to Hogsmeade and walked to Hogwarts the rest of the way. There were a lot of parents also going to the match, mostly for the lower classes, since the big kids were too cool for that.

It was pretty chilly outside, but they bundled up in their scarfs and long coats. Sirius felt he was too old to freeze his ass off in the stands. Remus just sighed long suffering and suddenly Sirius was feeling better. A wandless, wordless heating charm – of course, Moony was a show off.

Sirius wanted to turn to him and make a joke or remark, but he didn’t know how to react now in light of his revelation. Would a joke show too much? Could everyone see it on his face, in his eyes, that he was in love with his best friend? That he had been for quite a while, long enough that Sirius didn’t even want to think about it.

„Thank you,” He muttered instead.

Lily looked at him oddly, but didn’t comment.

They were all wearing green scarfs.

„I think my family would have been proud of me now,” Sirius had joked in the morning when they had spelled their old Gryffindor scarfs.

„Narcissa and Andromeda are always proud of you. Especially when you are a supportive godfather,” Remus had replied from the foyer. „How about we get going already? You spent twenty minutes with you hair... you look good, come on.”

 _You look good_ had hit differently now.

They made their way to the Slytherin stands in the Parents lounge. Severus slipped beside them as well, on Lily’s side as usual. Sirius knew the guy had changed and could love whoever he liked. But Sirius still saw the hateful teenager that Snape had been in school, always glued to Lily’s side.

Once the game started, Sirius was enchanted. He barely played in school and mostly did it for James, but he always liked the game. Harry’s face when he lifted in the air was priceless. Sirius could see James on his first match, James in his Quidditch Captain Attire, James winning the Cup.

The game was tight and Gryffindor played well and fair. Slytherins were aggressive as always, but he did note that Harry hovered above the fray most of the time. That should calm Lily’s nerves.

Harry’s face changed when he got sight of the snitch. Sirius couldn’t see it yet, but he never had what it took for a seeker.

„Harry saw the Snitch,” He whispered to his companions. Lily was gripping Severus’s hand – unconsciously, Sirius guesses. Severus looked like he was in a trance. Remus for once was actually watching the game. That was a first for Sirius. Back in school, Moony would come to most games and even some training sessions, but he always got a book for when he got bored. Now he watched the game, careful and slightly worried and in awe.

Harry was on the chase. The Gryffindor Seeker whose name Sirius didn’t bother to learn was after him, a bit too late though. Harry’s broom started to shake uncontrollably. Harry looked distressed and worried as the school standard broom buckled underneath him.

Sirius was on his feet and with his wand out to help steady Harry, so was Lily and Remus while Severus was muttering a counter curse under his breath.

Draco and a girl with frizzy hair that Sirius assumed to be Hermione rose from the seats and chanted something. In a few seconds, all the school robes, the Quidditch gears, the banners and the scarfs turned a violent pink.

For a few seconds the only sound was Harry fighting his broom. But that stopped, either to Severus or the panic that was caused by the young spellcasters, Sirius was not sure, but he was grateful nevertheless.

Everyone looked around confused. There was so much pink around that Sirius laughed. Severus looked stern in his pink scarf and Sirius laughed harder.

There was a whistle. His eyes returned to the field. Harry got the snitch in his hand.

„ And Harry Potter got the snitch ensuring the victory for...” The commenter looked lost.

„Pink team!” Sirius screamed.

McGonagall gave him a stern look from the Professors’ lounge. He remembered that look; she would give him detention now if she could.

Harry looked on smiling and smug, most people were cheering, but some Gryffindors and even Slytherins were throwing his godson mean looks.

„Slytherin won the game,” McGonagall said in a tight voice. „But Hermione Granger and Draco Black – you two report to me after Christmas for detention.”

„But Professor, it was all my idea!” Harry insisted.

„Very well. Granger, Black – and Potter. Hopefully, the time spend in detention will help them pick better leaders next time,” McGonagall said in a tight voice.

„Now I feel like I am a student again,” Sirius whispered to Remus.

„This is your bad influence,” Severus said in a low voice.

„The feeling to rebel and stand for what you believe in? No, that is all James,” Sirius said defiant.

Lily was shocked. „My son got his first detention...”

„It’s a huge milestone, we should celebrate,” Sirius said cheerily.

***

They decided to host the Christmas party in Grimmauld Place this year. Sirius and Remus spent a lot of time trying to decorate the house. The library really liked Remus and Sirius, but the other rooms shook the decorations off the moment their backs were turned.

And then there was mistletoe sprouting everywhere...

Remus was talking about the Lovegood girl and how smart and lively she was. Sirius was really listening, but then his eyes fell to Remus’s lips and pop... a mistletoe. And it kept happening too. Whenever Sirius looked at Moony too long or stared at his lips, the house sprouted more.

So the only decorated room was the library that hosted a big tree Sirius was quite proud of. Most of the food was brought by the others since both Sirius and Remus were pants at cooking and Kreacher barely made them breakfast.

They did manage to make punch, spiced and regular one for the kids, eggnog and got some butterbeer. Molly sent over the turkey and Narcissa the sweets, since her house elves did not went rouge. Lily worked all through the holiday and had no time for cooking, but promised to make the mashed potatoes and bring the vegetables.

The Weasleys were all visiting Charlie in Romania, except for Ron so they had him over for dinner as well. Thank god for Molly’s cooking. Remus was very proud when Charley got into the dragon taming program.

Harry had been over already exploring the house top to bottom. He didn’t like the Tapestry and Walburga’s portrait, but it couldn’t he helped. The house looked less dusty and more lived in, but it still didn’t obey their commands. They tried to lock everything dangerous – dark magical artefacts, books or rare potion ingredients – in the attic. And when they went to check on Harry in his room he was reading a book about Animagi.

Harry really liked his room and the room seemed to be partial to him. Maybe it felt he was a Slytherin. The whole room was draped in green and Slytherin banners.

Harry was already over on the night of the dinner. Lily would drop by straight after her shift. Usually they gave their presents after dinner on Christmas– a tradition they got over the years so everyone could go home with their gift.

Remus was the one that put all the presents beneath the tree under a charm to keep Harry away from them. Sirius did give him the Nimbus 2000 knowing that Lily would have to accept it now since it was Christmas.

He knew Remus gave Harry a wizarding chess set, but he was confident his present was cooler. It was a good idea to hide them last night since Harry was awake at seven in the morning... and of course he woke them up as well.

They made their way to the kitchen groggy. Harry was inspecting the tree to see if he could make the present appear in any way and Sirius was making sure he couldn’t because anything was possible with his godson. Ron was still sleeping, as a smart boy he had locked his door against Harry’s insistence.

„Here you go!” Remus’s voice called from his right and handed him a hot cup of tea.

„Thank you, Moony!” Sirius smiled and again the damn mistletoe appeared above their heads.

So far Remus hadn’t said anything about it. Sirius didn’t even know if he saw it too or just him since... he was the only one that wanted to kiss his best friend.

„What is that!?” Harry called.

Sirius gulped.

„What is what, pup?”

„That thing above your heads... Is it mistletoe?” Harry’s voice sound closer, but Sirius couldn’t tear his eyes from Remus’s face.

„The house makes it,” Remus said in a strange voice.

„On its own?”

„Yes, Harry, it is a very old and magic house.” He added in his teacher voice. „Some wizarding houses are so full of magic that after a long number of years, it starts developing a mind of their own.”

„So why the house’s mind makes mistletoe?” His godson innocent voice called.

Ron chose this perfect moment to trope down the stairs and distract Harry.

For a fleeting moment, Sirius locked eyes with Remus. Big brown chocolate eyes. Scared, hopeful and so familiar to his own. Unconsciously Sirius moved closer.

And the damn Floo went off. Lily was a cockblock, Sirius cursed. Or a savior. He had no idea what would have happened if he went through with it.

The guests trickled in after that. The dinner was good. Harry got the most presents as usual, even Molly sent a knitted green jumper with an H on it, matching the one she sent for Ron, red with an R.

Draco took his presents with a wonder on his face that made Sirius hurt inside. He nodded and thanked everyone with the cold pride of his mother, but knowing that mask so well, Sirius could see the cracks.

Everyone was full with wine and cheer and the kids were in the library playing chess. Narcissa and Andromeda were laughing in a corner about some family or the other, their Black side showing.

Ted and Remus were sharing tales about Dora. They were laughing and Remus’s face seemed to light up and... here was the damn mistletoe.

Sirius rose hoping no one saw it and made his way to check on the boys in the library.

Ron and Harry were playing with his new chess set and Draco was reading a book. Well, he did look like it, but Sirius saw him mutter moves that Harry could have made under his breath.

Sirius smiled to himself and went back, hoping he had it under control. He heard raised voices though and took a detour.

„I told you it was a bad idea to move in here,” Lily’s voice sounded soft, like talking to a frightened animal.

„I know...” Remus’s voice was so broken. „I thought I could do it...”

„There is mistletoe everywhere, Lupin.”

„I know! I do not know what to do!”

„If living arrangements are a problem, you can always move in with us... Harry is away most of the year at school.” Lily said reassuring.

Whatever Remus said, if he did, was lost in the rush of blood Sirius felt through all of his being. Remus knew about his feelings and wanted to leave because he didn’t feel the same... His stupid feelings could make Remus go away... No, he would not allow it, he would burry everything. It was not something to lose Moony over.

He turned around and entered the living room where the others were still talking merry like nothing was wrong. Like Sirius’s world didn’t suffer a tear.

The rest of the evening went by. Sirius didn’t remember talking to anyone. He remembered all the conversations Remus had though, and how many times mistletoe appeared – two. And the time he got so mad he actually burnt one. Anything to get Remus to stay.


	3. Severus is not happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus Snape is just trying to have a normal year....He should know better then to expect that with Harry in his house....

Severus

Severus spent the holidays at the castle. He didn’t spend this Christmas with Lily since she decided to go to the Black family home. After all these years and even knowing Sirius had grown as a person, he had these moments where all he saw was the bully, privileged pureblood.  
He spent his short few days off keeping a close eye on Quirrell, but found nothing suspicious. Someone did try to get past Hagrid’s horrendous beast, but since the attempt was unsuccessful he couldn’t prove it was him.  
Severus tried to pretend he didn’t miss the boys, but was so far unsuccessful. Draco Black took to hiding into his office lately. He quietly read a book in a corner till Harry came and nagged him out to the Great Hall or the Common Room.  
He saw himself in his godson, more than in Harry. Harry was vibrant, kind, creative and loyal. Fought for what he believed in no matter the consequences. And Severus couldn’t see that in himself. He did see Draco’s calm and calculating demeanor, his quiet pain at being rejected, his chin up in defiance against all his attackers. That he could understand. That cold hate.  
He knew he shouldn’t have gotten this close to them, but some people pulled you in like magnets. Lily was like that and Severus assumed Harry got it from her. Even though he knew James was quite the leader of his little gang.  
He kept himself busy on purpose, brewing some potion for Pomfrey, so he wouldn’t greet them. It took about thirty minutes till Draco made his way inside.  
„Do not forget you have detention tonight,” Severus reminded his godson.  
Draco sighed and opened his book. „I know...”  
„You should not let Potter drag you into his schemes.”  
„He helped me with the troll, that’s all. I had a duty to return the favor.” Draco said primly.  
„By painting the school... pink?” He spat the last word like poison.  
„I agree with the notion that house separation is only creating more oppression in the long run.”  
„So you also got roped in because you support the cause?”  
„Better than Granger... She helped only because the spell intrigued her.”  
„Well, I do hope you learned your lesson... Detention tonight and Harry is also banned from the next game.”  
„Against Ravenclaw? Not much damage.”  
„Careful, Draco, that sounded like a prejudice against a house,” Severus smirked.  
The young Slytherin huffed behind him. „Well, they do have a weak team this year.”  
„I didn’t know you were interested in Quidditch,” Severus said.  
„Well... it is the only sport we are allowed to play,” Draco said drily.  
„Maybe you should try for the team then, next year.” Severus pointed out.  
Draco flushed. „Maybe I will.”  
„Draco! Here you are!” Potter’s unruly hair popped at the door.  
„You lost me?” Draco sighed.  
„Come on, you will miss dinner. We need to be ready for detention tonight. Who knows what McGonagall will make us do, that woman is wicked.”  
„Mister Potter,” Severus spluttered.  
„I meant it as a compliment, Professor,” Harry grinned. „Do you know what punishment she got for us?”  
„I hope something suiting the crime,” Severus sighed.  
Harry made his way inside. He was wearing a Slytherin scarf charmed pink. He got to where Draco was sitting and boldly dragged him out.  
„Kids,” Severus rolled his eyes fondly and then scolded the expression away from his face.

***  
The next morning, Severus was just reading Hagrid’s report on what happened in the Forbidden Forest when his Floo lighted up. A direct connection to his private Floo was established from only two points – Lily’s house and the cottage he owned which was deserted most of the year.  
Lily’s angry face was the one that popped in. In all of their years of friendship she only used the connection twice and each time was an emergency. Last time, Harry swallowed an unknown potion someone left at their doorstep.  
He knew why she was here today though.  
She stepped in and besides her Narcissa Black popped out. At least this time it was not the angry godfather, thank Merlin for small mercies.  
„How did you even get informed so fast? I am just reading the report now.”  
„Hagrid firecalled me last night,” She said voice tight.  
„Good morning, Severus,” Narcissa said polite as always.  
He nodded his head. „Good morning, Narcissa.”  
„The Forbidden Forest!?” Lily’s voice was a shriek now.  
„It was not my detention to give,” Severus answered.  
„Minerva then?” Lily’s eyes were blazing.  
„From what I gathered, the detention was set by Dumbledore himself,” He sighed.  
„Well then, let’s make a visit to the Headmaster.” Narcissa offered Lily her arm. Ice and fire. Fairy passion and cold and calculated fury. Severus did not want to be in the Headmaster’s place right now.  
Severus followed them reluctant.  
The women walked straight to the entrance to the Headmaster’s office.  
„Sherbet Lemon,” Lily said in a confident tone, but the door didn’t budge. „This is the password for years now,” She said confused.  
„It is, but I am afraid the Headmaster is not here. He was called with urgent business at the Ministry,” It was Minerva’s voice that answered her from behind them.  
„Convenient,” Lily glared.  
„You have to understand, Mrs. Potter, Ms. Black. We had no idea there was going to be anything in that Forest” Minerva said in an understanding tone.  
„The same forest you forbid your student from entering?” Lily replied.  
„The forest where a unicorn killer was on the loose... A crime the groundkeeper investigating with three young kids in his care?” Narcissa’s tone was icy.  
„The children were perfectly safe with Hagrid there.”  
„But he did split them up and left mister Black and mister Potter alone unsupervised.” Severus surprised even himself by saying.  
Minerva cast him a betrayed look.  
„And they did encounter a hooded figure that we know is a unicorn killer and assume even worse,” Lily’s tone was cutting.  
„They did, but the children are all safe now.”  
„Thanks to the centaurs and not anything the school or teachers did.” Narcissa glared.  
„We are very troubled by last night’s events and we assure you the students are safe and will continue to be safe under our care.”  
„Well, this place seems more like a vault than a school since you hid the Stone in it to attract all the dark wizards that are after it.” Narcissa said.  
Minerva widened her eyes.  
„We better talk in my office.” She said and made her way to the Gryffindor tower.  
Severus followed the two mothers and his fellow teacher. The students eyed their little party suspiciously, but none commented.  
Percy Weasley fretted by the McGonagall’s office ready to talk to her, but seemed to think better of it when he saw Minerva’s face and retreated.  
Minerva let them into her office. „Tea?”  
Everyone shook their heads.  
„I want to find out how you knew about the stone in the first place,” The transfiguration teacher started.  
„Remus figured it out.” Lily said simply.  
„Mister Lupin... of course,” The teacher sighed. „The stone is not a danger to the student body.”  
„And how do you explain the unicorn killer?” Lily asked. „Someone clinging onto life is hiding in the forest next to the place where the Philosopher’s stone is kept. It can’t be a coincidence.”  
„Someone that needs unicorn blood to keep living is not strong enough to go past our defenses. And I can assure you the stone is well protected.”  
„Sod the stone. I do not care about it.” Lily’s outburst surprised McGonagall. ”I care if a kid gets hurt in this mad pursuit for it, as hopeless as it is.”  
„Hagrid will be out again all week looking for the hooded figure.”  
„If he sucked dry as many unicorns as we assume, he may be good for a while,” Lily said.  
„We can’t do anything else,” Minerva sighed.  
„Take the stone somewhere it won’t endanger hundreds of innocent kids,” Narcissa suggested. „I can give you my vaults, there is nothing more secure then a Black vault.”  
„We tried Gringotts, but there was a break in,” Minerva said.  
„How long is the stone supposed to stay here?” Lily asked.  
„By the end of the year the Headmaster will destroy it once and for all,” Minerva assured them.  
„I hope he does it before someone gets hurt, my son was hexed while on his broom on the school grounds” Lily spat.  
“The broom is being now checked for curses” Minerva assured her.  
“Do you have any suspects?”  
“Not yet”  
“And you’re telling me the kids are safe!” Lily raises her voice. “I trust you, Minerva, but you have the safety of my kid in your hands right now!”  
“I am aware” Minerva gulps.  
Lily nods and storms out.  
Narcissa glared and rose as well. „Good day!”  
Minerva let out a long breath after the two departed.  
„Shouldn’t you be letting them out?” Minerva asked.  
„I don’t have the faintest idea how they got in,” Severus said.  
„I really want to keep the students safe.” She said in a defeated tone.  
„I know, we all do,” He said and rose from his chair. „Thank you for talking to them and easing some of their concerns.”  
„I did no such thing. They are as worried as they were when they got in.”  
„But at least now they consumed their energy,” He sighed.

***

The next few days were quite calm, which was worrying considering Potter’s tendencies. The young Seeker still trained with the team, even though he was banned from the next game against Ravenclaw, but he would play the next two.  
Flint seemed unhappy with the stunt Potter had pulled at the last game and was extra hard on him. Everyone was in awe over his new broom though, so the situation balanced itself in that regard.  
Severus was having long chats with Lily and often the other two parental figures about Quirrell. No matter how much he tried and how close he trailed nothing stuck out.  
Draco was by his laboratory and office more often. He was quiet and skilled so he was no bother, but Severus wasn’t sure how hiding would help him in the long run. Severus learned the hard way how unforgiving Slytherins could be, more so if they thought you had special privileges.  
Draco’s worst tormentors must have been Crabbe and Goyle, but Severus was not sure who was the mind behind the muscle and in true Slytherin fashion would not get involved regardless. Draco was a pureblood, he must fight his own battles... If only a certain someone got the memo...  
Potter started trailing Draco around, never far enough. He accompanied him to class and always chose a seat by him, he dropped Draco off to Severus’s office or the library when he was off training, all the stuff that made the other Slytherins hate the young pureblood more.  
Draco ran in his office one evening when Potter was off training. Draco was out of breath with a red hex still active on his cheek.  
Severus looked at him and put down the ingredient he was ready to drop into the cauldron.  
„You know this is not a sanctuary, right? Most students dread this place,” The teacher sighed.  
„I am not most people,” Draco panted.  
„You are not doing yourself any favors by hiding here and running away from the others.”  
„They will find a shinier target soon,” Draco pulled his wand out and removed the hex. Not easy task for a first year, Severus was quietly impressed.  
„Shinier” than a Black? Not very likely.”  
„I haven’t done anything to them, not even spoken to half of them,” Draco huffed.  
„And that is where your mistake lies. By avoiding them it seems that you hold yourself too high for them.”  
Draco glared. „How do I get them to stop then?”  
„You play their game, and win preferably.”  
„But I am not interested in their fortunes, or the matches their families have planned...”  
„This is your world.”  
„Why me?”  
„Because they fear you, your mind, your connections, the freedom you have to choose your own path... It’s not something most of them have.”  
„You want me to pity them?”  
„I want you to dominate them!” Severus said icily. „You are a Black, act like one. Even if not all of your family was Slytherin, they all acted like it.”  
„Sirius is nothing like a Slytherin.”  
„He was at the top of his class, he was part of the most popular group in school and he was a bully. He was more Slytherin than most.”  
„A bully?” Draco’s voice dropped low. Severus should have known better than to drop that about the child’s hero.  
„Ask him. I will not shelter you any longer. My advice is, start building your alliances.”  
Draco remained frozen in the middle of the room.  
„How about I have tonight to get my strategy?”  
Severus nodded.  
„I would start with Parkinson, she seems to have a soft spot for you.”  
Draco nodded and retreated to a corner with his book.

***

Even though the Quidditch team lost to Ravenclaw, they won all the other matches and they were currently on top of the charts. Only one match against Hufflepuff was left – a game where Potter could play.  
Severus had a good day. He only had first year classes all morning, with properly awed and terrified students. He made Longbottom so scared his hands were shaking, but he did succeed in making the third best potion in class.  
Draco was doing well as usual, best potion. It didn’t escape Severus’s attention that his godson changed seats in Potions today. He stayed by miss Parkinson instead of Potter. Severus felt a stab of guilt seeing Harry’s sad face, but Granger slipped in the seat by him.  
Granger was a know-it-all, but she was good at Potions. She would be a good influence on the young Slytherin in the long run. Although Severus would have preferred he befriended another Slytherin.  
Severus was locking the Potion class for the day after the double Slytherin/Ravenclaw class when he heard something. He was accustomed to the whispers of the school now, after the sneaking and stalking he had to do this year.  
It wasn’t Quirrell though. It was Draco and Granger in an old classroom, being late for lunch most likely.  
„Thank you for holding your end today, Granger.”  
„You know, you can call me Hermione, we are at that stage,” The brushy haired witch stated.  
„I do not think that studying a spell that got us in trouble, serving a detention and completing a bargain would make us friends,” Draco said cold.  
„It’s more interaction then either of us has with other students.”  
„For your information, I have other friends.”  
„Yes, you have Harry. That you hurt today by the way.” Hermione pointed an accusatory finger at him.  
„Potter is not my friend, we know each other since we are forced to interact.”  
„Is that why you asked me to help him in Potions today? Because he is... an acquaintance?” Granger glared.  
„I did that because I do not wish for my house to lose points due to Potter’s incompetence.”  
„Well, in that case, next time stay by Goyle, he blew his cauldron today.”  
Draco widened his yes, but schooled his features quickly.  
„I will take that into consideration,” He said cold. „Now for my end of the deal. The secret to my Pepper up Potion is that I add some cut strawberry. It makes it taste better, yours was just as effective.”  
„Thank you!” Granger smiled. „Draco... I do not know why you are doing this, but if it hurts you both is it even worth it? Think about it.”  
„I do not know what you mean...”  
Granger threw him a pitying look and left.  
Severus waited for Draco to go as well before continuing his way to the Great Hall. Was it possible he gave his godson a wrong advice? No... Why would he doubt himself over the opinions of an eleven year old witch? He did the good thing.

***  
Over the course of the next few days, Draco gained more points with the Slytherins. He stayed with Parkinson on most classes, but he was trying to get Blaze Zabini as well from what Severus could tell.  
Potter spent less time with the Slytherins. As more popular Draco became, they saw less of Potter. He either was alone or with Gryffindors. The two gravitated around each other, but the orbit was off, they got pulled further and further away.  
Severus thought of asking Lily’s opinion on it, but he knew what she would say. That friendship is not a weakness, that true friendship makes you stronger...  
In the end, he did nothing. Draco was not bullied anymore and Potter did win against Hufflepuff. Their grades remained constant and no new pranks were pulled. Although Potter got in detention a lot for not respecting the uniform code. He never had the house colors on, he appeared to one class wearing a skirt, he was a split image of his father.  
His only concern was that Quirrell didn’t make any move. He didn’t try to get past Hagrid’s dog again. It was not long before the term end, maybe nothing would happen and Dumbledore can destroy the stone...

***

It was quite late on a Friday night. Severus was reading a letter he got from a Potion Master in Rome. Italy is one of the few countries where werewolves have complete rights and are not shunned in any way. From what Severus gathered it has to do with their founders, Romulus and Remus who were raised by a werewolf.  
They were working on a potion to help werewolves keep more of their human mind during a change and Severus was in close contact with one of the Potion masters. He was telling himself it was a favor for Lily, but she was unaware of the Potion being produced, it was easier, then to say he came to... le... tolerate Remus in the last years and he would like to help him.  
Severus was just composing a response on the benefit of using salvia leaves over root when someone knocked on his door. He opened it to a frantic Draco Black. The boy was trying to breathe and talk in the same time and what came out was only wheezing.  
„Harry... Harry...” He gasped.  
„What about him?” Severus asked.  
„He... was.... left... stone…”  
Severus’s eyes widened. He didn’t need to hear more. He left Draco in his quarters and ran to the third store room that housed the entry to the place the stone was kept. The three headed dog was sleeping. Severus didn’t waste any more time and sent his Patronus to alert Dumbledore. His heart would have liked to go to Lily first, but the Headmaster was closer.  
Severus slipped inside the trap door by the paws of the beast. He cast a quick „Lumos” at the devil’s snare and ran ahead. The flying key was still in the door so he continued on his way, to the chess table.  
On the board he saw a figure kneeled over a fallen knight from what he could tell. That was where he found Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Weasley was bleeding from a wound at his shoulder, he was trapped under a horse and Potter was trying to get him out.  
„Step aside,” Severus called. He could see Weasley flinch, but Potter looked relieved and complied immediately.  
A quick Wingardium Leviosa later Weasley was pulled from under the horse.  
„What were you thinking? Or most precisely... you were not thinking, were you?” He snapped.  
„Someone is trying to get the Stone,” Harry supplied.  
„And you thought that you must play hero?”  
„We tried to get an adult, but no one believed us!” Weasley panted.  
„You didn’t come to me!” Severus said glaring at Harry.  
„To the Hospital Wing, both of you, I will deal with this myself.”  
„But... what if it’s dangerous...” Harry hesitated.  
„Then I am in less peril then you would have been. Now, Potter, take Weasley to the Hospital Wing and then bring the rest of the teachers here.”  
„Yes, sir...” Harry gulped and helped Weasley stand.  
The next trial was easy, since it was his own task. He drank the correct flask and was over the fire and into the last chamber.  
The mirror of Erised greeted him in the room. Tall and dark, the silvery surface flashed and the mist cleared. Severus didn’t want to look at it, but it was like a magnet drawing him in. He saw himself holding Lily’s hand, they were both smiling, matching rings on their fingers. Harry was behind them grinning wide, he had the prefect and Quiddich captain badge and he looked older, closer to graduation.  
Severus never understood the appeal of the mirror until now. He could see why people wasted their entire life in front of it. The bigger the dream, the more impossible or far away, the more alluring the prospect seemed. He clenched his fist and turned away from the mirror facing the rest of the room.  
As expected Quirrell was lurking in a corner. He was fidgeting and watching Severus with fear in his eyes. „Not what you expected?” Severus asked.  
„Where is the boy?” Quirrell asked no trace of stutter left.  
„Away from you,” Severus said cold.  
„Severus, my old friend,” A voice hissed.  
Severus felt his whole body turn to stone. No. It was the voice he hoped to never hear again.  
„H...ow?”  
„Release me, we are safe here,” the voice hissed and Quirrell unwrapped the turban from his head.  
„My lord... how?” Severus asked trying to keep his voice under control.  
„After the Potter’s magic destroyed my body I was a mere phantom for so long... all my followers left me or were imprisoned... And then Quirrell came, lost, scared, filled with resentment, but so alive... filled with magic. It is not enough, is just half of a life even with the Unicorn blood, but with the stone... I can get my body again, we can finish our mission. Bring me the boy and everything will be forgiven.”  
„Why do you need the boy? He doesn’t have the stone. Dumbledore wouldn’t risk it,” Severus said.  
„Dumbledore is a fool who always picks children to fight his battles. We both know he is a coward now.”  
„The kid is in the hospital wing, Dumbledore is with him as we speak,” Severus said.  
„ I need the stone, I can’t wait,” Voldemort hissed.  
„Severus?” Dumbledore’s voice could be heard down the room behind.  
„I can’t lose my standing with them, it may be more useful in the future,” Severus whispered urgently.  
„As you wish, but I expect you to find me this time!” A ghostly shape rose from Quirrell head.  
„No, p-p-please, you p-p-romised,” He pleaded.  
The shape raised and melted into the ceiling.  
Quirrell fell into a heap at Severus’s feet, unconscious and convulsing violently.

**  
Severus left the hospital wing close to dawn. Weasley had a broken arm, but madam Pomfrey fixed it pretty fast. Harry had minor bruises and cuts. Quirrell still didn’t wake up. From what madam Pomfrey gathered, his mind was scattered, similar to someone tortured with the Cruciatus curse for too long.  
He would be moved to St. Mungo’s in the morning, but there was no chance of recovery. Lily and Molly Weasley were notified and were currently fussing over their children in the hospital wing.  
Severus stepped out, still reeling from tonight’s events. He was back, one of his nightmares played tonight before his eyes. And even if Voldemort didn’t have a body anymore, Severus knew it was only a question of time till he would be back again.  
„We mustn’t worry for nothing. It took him 10 years to be back again,” Dumbledore said from behind him.  
„I hope it will take this much next time, but something tells me it won’t.”  
„Do we know where he was last time?”  
„He didn’t say....”  
„I will destroy the stone in two days’ time when the term is done.”  
„That is for the best.”  
„He thinks you are still loyal?”  
Severus nodded.  
„Good, we can use that,” Dumbledore said.  
Severus nodded gravely and bid the headmaster good night.  
The sun was rising over the Forbidden Forest when he made his way inside his room.  
Draco was still there, asleep on the sofa. Severus smiled at the sight, but he did shake him awake.  
„Harry?” His godson shot up.  
„Alright, minor bruises,” Severus reassured him. „It is a good thing you let me know when you did.”  
„I saw him sneak out of the dorm, he took the... He was hard to track, but I saw him meet Weasley and I know he would get in trouble... So I came straight here... They were saying about stopping someone from getting the stone...” Draco spat without pause.  
„You did well, I managed to get there in time,” Severus said.  
„I...” huge yawn „ think I should go to bed now, if everyone is okay.”  
„Good night, mister Black.”  
Draco nodded and scurried away.

***

The end year feast was good. The food was great as always, Slytherin won the Quiddich Cup, but they lost the House Cup due to Albus being bias as always…Severus was too used to that to even react. Harry and Ron Weasley were both healed, but Quirrell was still in St. Mungo’s, his condition unchanged.  
Severus wanted to be happy or at least content with the turn of events, but he couldn’t escape the feeling that something was set in motion. Something big and dark that would tear away the little happiness that he gathered.  
Lily wrote to him. She thanked him for taking care of Harry and asked him to come and spend if not the whole summer than a few weeks with them in Godric’s Hollow. The letter still laid unanswered on his desk.  
Maybe it was better if he distanced himself from Lily and Harry now. So it could be easier later. But he didn’t expect it to be this hard. When did he come to love Harry? A cocky boy, full of energy and mischievous spirit. So much like his dad sometimes that Severus felt transported in time... But so different in the same time, a smart kid, a kind kid that never bullied anyone, that took care of the weak... In retrospect, how could he not come to love him?  
In his entire life, he only loved one person, and somehow now it was two. That was even harder to protect. He had to sacrifice so much last time to keep Lily safe... it would be even harder this time.  
He sighed. Who was he kidding? He would do it again in a heartbeat. And he would stay by their side this time as well. No matter how great the cost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! As always comments, recommendations and complains are welcomed bellow.
> 
> It will take a while till I post Chapter 1 of Book 2, but then I will post all 3 of them a week apart!
> 
> Thank you for your patience:)


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